


No Hero

by Irelando



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: F/M, Pacific Rim AU, Rebelcaptain Week, the au that's been bouncing around in my head for literal months
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 01:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10709373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irelando/pseuds/Irelando
Summary: The man standing next to Draven on the helipad looks unremarkable at first glance, but when his dark eyes meet hers Jyn’s nerves abruptly start tosing, a rush of endorphins through her entire body.(aka: the pacific rim AU that won't leave me alone. for rebelcaptain week day four.)





	No Hero

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into English available: [No Hero [한국어 번역]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218847) by [tyty_wars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyty_wars/pseuds/tyty_wars)



> I'm seriously considering fleshing this au out some more, because I've been thinking about it off and on for like three months. If folks are interested in that, let me know!
> 
> for rebelcaptain week, day 4. Prompt: AU/Nerve
> 
> content warning for a very brief mention of suicidal ideation.

_She’s lost her nerve_ , they said. _She’s afraid, she’s no hero, it’s_ her _fault he’s dead_.

Jyn still wakes sometimes with those whispers in her ears, her back itching under the weight of all those stares. Sometimes she thinks she hears them under the sound of her welder, or in the hum of the elevator.

She avoids the news as much as she can, but she can still hear the other builders talking. The Jaeger program defunded. The walls are the strategy of choice now. Jyn snorts every time she hears it; she has first hand experience with the kaiju. Nothing that can’t punch back stands a chance against them. And sure enough, not a week later, a kaiju tears through a wall like it’s wet bread and they’re right back where they started.

It’s almost funny. The only thing keeping her from laughing (or, some days, from stepping off the highest part of the wall) is how Saw would have looked at her. There’s an echoing hole in her head where he used to be. Her mentor, more of a father to her than her own ever was, the man who saw the fury inside her and gave her a place to aim it. He’s still there in the Drift, somewhere. It’s not enough.

\--

The man standing next to Draven on the helipad looks unremarkable at first glance, but when his dark eyes meet hers Jyn’s nerves abruptly start to _sing_ , a rush of endorphins through her entire body. She realizes what it means when she falls into the (crappy regulation) bed later that night, and can’t believe her shitty luck.

 _Really?_ she thinks at no one in particular. _Of all the people, I’m drift compatible with Draven’s flunky?_ She groans and rolls over, shoving her face into the pillow. _Fuck you, too._

\--

She nearly loses a couple of the sparring matches, distracted by the way his presence fizzles on her nerves. _Great, I’ve become a Cassian Andor compass_ , she grumbles inwardly, knocking her current opponent flat on her back. “Enough,” she declares, glaring up at Draven. “I already know who my partner is.”

Draven is, as usual, annoyingly observant. He picks up on the tension between them. “Captain Andor is not trained as a Jaeger pilot,” he says. Looking at Jyn, he doesn’t see the way Cassian’s mouth thins, his grip tightening on his clipboard.

“I don’t care,” Jyn says. “Or are you nervous he’ll lose?”

“Sir,” Cassian says.

Draven glances at him. And sighs. “Alright.”

A fire lights in Cassian’s eyes, and for the first time Jyn thinks this might actually work.

\--

Cassian chases the RABIT. Jyn watches the kaiju tear Mexico City apart in helpless silence. Watches as if from afar as Cassian, age eight, goes chasing after the monster, throwing rocks, doing anything he can to try and distract it from taking more lives. Sees the passion behind the cool exterior, and suddenly understands what her nerves have been telling her all along.

\--

Their final assault on the Rift is a suicide mission and every single one of them knows it. It’s worse even than Jyn expected; by the time Rogue One finally zaps into the Rift, she’s determined not to let anyone else die on her watch. She sends Cassian back to the surface fully intending to let the Rift finish what Knifehead started years ago.

But the hole he leaves behind is even worse than Saw’s, all raw and ragged edges. She can’t do that to him, not knowing what it did to her. So she fights, and she drags herself along, and the last thing she remembers is praying for the first time in years that for once, the universe is on her side.

\--

It is.

\--

The week that follows is a hellish marathon of debriefs. Jyn doesn’t see Cassian for several days; she’s half convinced he got dragged off to answer his home government’s questions.

Then someone knocks on her door, and she knows who it is before she even gets up to open it.

The instant the door opens they’re all over each other, hands skimming warm skin, mouths clumsy with their rush to taste one another.

“I thought you were gone,” Jyn mutters into the skin of his neck, grazing it with her teeth. “I thought you’d been dragged off somewhere to answer more _fucking_ questions.”

“They wanted to,” Cassian says on a gasp, “I told them where they could shove it.”

Jyn pulls back, raising an eyebrow at him. “That took some nerve, I bet.”

He backs her against the door, hands hard on her hips. “It was worth it.”


End file.
